Reflection of my One Year WW Anniversary & Weigh in

Today is my one year anniversary of joining Weight Watchers. Well, might have been yesterday, but regardless! I have been on this journey now for 365 days, and I have finally realised that the journey will never end, but that this IS my new life. I am living it.


Occasionally, I need to reflect back as to why I decided to lose weight. Sure, there are a bunch of reasons. To like myself better. To be able to find clothes that fit AND look nice. Not to have to buy clothes just because they do fit. To have men look at me. To have my husband lust after me again. To make sure that I'm doing everything I can to live longer and see my children (and grand-children!) grow up.


But really, a lot of these are secondary to my main motivator. Which is simply to take care of me. I decided about 13 months ago that I should lose weight. Not that I wanted to, but that I should. So with a half-hearted effort, I ate a little better, and went on the treadmill three times a week for 15 minutes. It was only for a week or so. Then one day, I was setting up the treadmill, and there was a big spark, the power went out, and the treadmill no longer worked. "Fabulous, I've broken something ELSE," I thought.


Hubby looked at the treadmill when he got home, and thankfully was able to fix it. But it was a miracle I hadn't killed myself, as the power cord going into the treadmill had been frayed. There was a surge protector in the electricity box that had saved my life.


That's when it hit me - I didn't care. I should be THANKFUL that I was still alive. That I hadn't died (oh, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic!). But I didn't. I wished I had died. I felt so worthless and horrible about myself, that this piece of me thought it would have been better if I had died. Not grateful that I was OK.


So I mulled over it for a couple more weeks. I ate even MORE. At this point, it was a regular occurance at least two or more times a week to buy a box of Betty Crocker Triple Choc brownies, make them up, and eat the lot. If it wasn't that, it was something else. I'd eat while the kids were resting and I was on my own. It gave me comfort. It let me escape how isolated I felt. How I hated myself, and didn't even think that it was worth losing weight just so I could see my kids grow up. I wanted to be dead.


I approached my GP, with much trepidation, to raise the possibility that I might have depression. She gave me a sheet to read, boxes to tick, and told me to come back. I didn't. I probably should have. But then I thought about how a NORMAL person would feel in my situation - grateful to be alive and the opportunity to change their life.


And I decided then and there, to at least give losing weight a chance, before going back to the GP for a prescription or therapy. To give myself a chance. To put myself first. Sure, I have moments of feeling down, but the EURPHORIA of how fantastic I feel most of the time now, is just amazing. A way I never thought I could feel thirteen months ago, even twelve months ago, when I didn't even believe in myself. I have found, over the last year, the ability to believe in myself. That is priceless.


I decided to be selfish - and to put myself first for a year or two, to benefit my own emotional well-being, and ultimately my family. It was hard that after all this time, to think it was OK to put myself first. But I had to - happy Mum, happy home, right? I had to give it a shot. We were ALL miserable.


Putting myself first hasn't ended up being as selfish as I had first expected. So I would exercise while the kids slept - they didn't notice! I would wake up a little earlier, and walk in the morning. The family were all eating the same meals as I was. We got a little bonus from Kevin Rudd, and I spent that on bikes for hubby and I, and on 6 months membership at the gym, as I'd been regularly exercising for 3 months at that point, and felt I needed more.


Hubby would generally supervise the kids while I was walking in the morning (if they woke up early), and then when I went to the gym in the morning, or occasionally on the weekends. The entire family is involved with weekend bikeriding - we also bought a bike trailer, so Buster and DD can join hubby, Lego Boy and I for our rides.


And for the most part, I feel so incredible now, that I really wished I had been more "selfish" earlier. I have the most amazing amounts of energy now - I thought that was a myth, but it's true! I have moments of being purely exhausted when I've pushed myself too far, but I have so much more stamina than a year ago.


What I have achieved in the past year:
- I have lost 33.1kg (I lost 1.1kg this week, I was astounded!)
- I walk twice a week for an hour (sometimes more!)
- I go to the gym (Curves) for half an hour four times a week, mostly burning over 500 cals each time
- I bike ride for an hour or two at least once a month, if not more
- The kids are so much more active than they were
- My hubby has lost 8kg in the last year
- We only have takeaway once or twice a month (it used to be that amount each week!)
- I have so much more confidence
- I have an insatiable lust and enjoyment for exercise I didn't think I'd ever have
- I can't wait to try some new forms of exercise - kayaking especially
- I was a size 22 - now I'm a size 12-14
- I believe in myself
- I realise I am worth more than I thought I was
- I have found determination I never knew I had
- I have made my family proud
- Lego Boy won't have a fat Mum when he starts school next year (this was another great motivator)
- I haven't broken a chair in the last year
- My husband doesn't just love me, I have discovered how much he believes in me, and he now lusts after me like a teenager
- I have lost 172cm all over my body - I have lost over my height all over the width of my body!


And finally, here is a picture comparison of my journey.
1 - 106.7kg, the day I joined WW
2 - 74.7kg, size 12 denim shorts
3- 74.7kg, size 10 Jeans West dress
4 - 74.7kg, size 12 dress







And for today, I weighed in and lost 1.1kg this week. I walked for 50 minutes this morning despite the gusty winds!