I know that might sound weird. But I do. I've been reading a few new blogs lately, which have got me thinking, and I seriously feel like most of the time I'm neglecting my life. I've been so focused on particular things over the past 9 months that I'm missing my life. I've been focusing particularly on exercising, losing weight, budgeting and meal planning, that aside from the routine-ness of our life (preschool on Wednesday, swimming on Saturday, gym Monday/Wednesday/Friday/Saturday or Sunday, walking Tuesday/Thursday, etc etc), 'life' seems to have been on hold.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my new body. I LOVE my new love of exercise. I LOVE my new food. I LOVE that we're meeting our goals.
But life seems to be passing by. I need to make more time for it. For my new life. I spend time with the kids. My husband. My family. A little on the house.
The kids are growing and getting older, and I've probably been neglecting them and their needs a lot more. I miss out on morning wake-ups and snuggles with them because I'm up before they are to exercise and have my 'me' time.
I'm spending a lot of our monthly budget on my gym membership and WW meetings, that I could be spending on other activities or necessities for the kids and I.
Paperwork is behind, because I'm not spending the time on it as by the evening I'd rather just watch a bit of telly, read, surf or go to bed.
Photos are behind because, well, I'm slack. And because of all of the above activities.
I crave "me" time because the kids are JUST. SO. FULL. ON. at the moment. So any time I have in the middle of the day, I want to do things *I* want to do, not things on the house. Not things for the kids or hubby. Me. I've been selfish.
Seeing the house get a bit neglected is probably a small price to pay for how absolutely BRILLIANT I'm feeling losing 27.1kg. But I feel a constant dismay when I look in the study. At the kitchen bench. At my messiness. At the neglected garden. At my neglected herbs. My neglected compost bin. The lack of cuddles with the kids. Lack of extra 'zing' to put 110% into my sex life, not just 80%. Which doesn't help my amazing feeling.
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Balance, it's a difficult thing to achieve. I hope you find your happy medium soon. You've done so well ... and it's a big adjustment to get used to this new you, your new life. xx
ReplyDeletehmm, interesting. But let's remember a few things:
ReplyDelete1. The other things you speak of like your kids and everything else is part of the reasons you've been neglecting YOU. You need to catch yourself up. Once you're at the maintenance stage you'll have time for that - it's more motivation to get to the finish line!
2. You're not really 'neglecting' your kids you just don't have time to 'spoil' them. OK? !!!!
3. It's little wonder you are running on 80% zing - there's a lot to be done in a day - and it's all about the life of a Mum with pre-schoolers. It's mentally and physically exhausting.
I think you're doing brilliantly - I do know what you mean about feeling like you're letting things go beyond a point you're comfortable with garden/house but resolve to do a big spring clean as a family effort - that's what we're doing because winter does limit you a bit too.
Hang in there xxxx
Katy, I think that you owed it to yourself to place everything else on 'hold' while you took care of your health. The kids will gain a lot more from seeing a mum filled with motivation, energy and direction as opposed to one that is always present but unhappy and unmotivated. What an example you have set them!
ReplyDeleteYou have done the hard yards. If you think the balance is out of whack, then do a bit of re-jiggling until you find your groove again.
I agree with everyone else - you needed to concentrate on the weight loss. It's not something you can go into half heartedly. Now you've almost reached your goal you can ease up a bit and get a bit more balance in your life.
ReplyDeleteYou've done a fantastic job!
Thank you so much for the confidence boost that I am doing the right thing. I've been trotting along rather happily over the past 9 months, and it really just hit me that it feels like I'm not really present.
ReplyDeleteI'm writing a huge list to get everything out of my head (and on paper), and I'll just try and stick to the bare basics daily, and try and tick one or two 'extra's off my list every couple of days.
The kids aren't complaining, I just don't feel like I'm doing right by them. Having said that, today was the first day in months I had a cry about how 'hopeless' it all seems!
Katy I think that we all find it hard to find the right balance and well I am probably not the best person to ask about this at the moment, because like you I do feel somewhat passing life by.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, it does get easier, the lists do get smaller and you will find a balance that works for all of you.
I agree too, you've put yourself at the back for so long that it's ok that you're putting yourself first for once. Sometimes you just need to focus on you more for a while before you can get a good balance going. I have done the same and am only now getting back into getting the house in order and paying more attention to the kids. But right now I'm not exercising, and I don't know what will happen once I start again.
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